My experiences vacillate between easily accessible sex, hilariously bad dates (the stories we tell ourselves in order to keep from weeping into large pizzas on Sunday nights) and depressingly mediocre ones.I've also used it in travel situations--once in Costa Rica where the town was so small I ran out of people to swipe in twenty minutes. A., where my bio read, "Here for a month, help me find the good tacos?He was also in a stained hoodie, a sign of low expectations--we matched in that respect--and he apologized for his appearance all through cocktails at Happiness Forgets, a highly rated basement cocktail bar that I'd passed three times without realizing it.We'd talked for hours--about his business (a bike shop with a second location on the way), about our love lives (he was recently out of a relationship, particularly liked meeting travelers), and about our sex lives.
Because in addition to all those things--clean, non-murderous, fun--I am a black woman, and here's the unfortunate truth about being a black woman dating in America right now: we are considered the most undatable demographic.Adam was a perfectly satisfactory dinner companion, if not a bit damp and blandly lecherous (he revealed he had looked at my Instagram before we met and "really liked the photos of me in a bathing suit.") And now, standing on the street corner, it was unclear how I was going to walk away from this without an awkward shutdown."You know," he said leaning in very close, brushing my cheek with the back of his hand, "if this were a date"--I'd been very clear that this was not--"if this were a date, at this point, after some nice drinks, a nice dinner, and you, a beautiful girl with your nice hotel room, I think this night would end with an invitation up." I mumbled something about jetlag, early mornings, hairy legs that hadn't been shaved since September, whatever it took, and it took a lot. I don't need to do the gentlemanly thing and walk you back to your hotel?Who needs guidebooks or Google when you can swipe before you go? I'm trapped on the London Eye and have no idea what to do! Related: The 15 Best Beaches in California There was an architect who didn't respond to my "Looking for a tour guide, what should I do today?(In addition to Paul, I'd also lined up a man in Berlin who knew where to find the best weed in Germany, as well as an artist in Stockholm who wanted to give me a museum tour and then draw me.) Unfortunately, Paul was "working late," and asked me to come over to his flat to "smoke some weed and cuddle," because obviously, I'd boarded a transatlantic flight to entertain the same lukewarm offers I did back in Brooklyn. " Some other dude responded to my "You look fun, where should I go tonight? " A few people initiated with similarly bad lines like ": Emoji flower: : Emoji flower: : Emoji flower: here, I got you some flowers because you're pretty!