To give you some perspective of where I'm coming from...I left my marriage almost 2 years ago, and started dating soon after.I continued to find out he was still talking to her. I'm so fed up and have been trying to make it work. When do I tell him I'm married going through a divorce and have a kid? we had a pretty nice convo and at the end he asked me to coffee next week and for my number. But there has been absolutely no talk of reconciliation or trying to make things work. Once the relationship is dead and you've gone through the grieving process and learned something from it, you might be ready.I put our divorce and court date on hold to work on it and then I keep finding out he's hidng things. I'm afraid he is just going to run away if I tell him but I dont want to get him involved in my complicated life. The marriage was over long before I left, and I was plenty ready to move on. Right now, you miss being a wife and you want to be treated like a wife. Focus on yourself and get yourself healed from this situation, and then you can make better decisions. Being.talking to someone else is a unwise attempt to fill the hole you have in your heart.
One other thing to consider is that our spouses, whom we thought we knew and trusted, have decided to treat us like sh*t or cheat on us or walk out on us, etc.
Last night at work I ran into a medical student who was asking me some questions about my patient. From your post, I don't get the sense you're there yet. I told him I thought maybe we should cancel because my life is complicated but he still wants to get to know me. Coffee dude just wants a little conversation and some coffee (and probably some sex).
We saw each other the day before when he was making rounds with the dr. C ugh I really do think I am pretty much ready to move on. He told me he was out of minutes and then a text message went through on his phone it was am. Ive had enough of the lies, the sneaking around, I'm so exhausted. I told him I'm scared he's gonna run with what I tell him haha. He's not offering himself as a surrogate husband and father.
If I wait until the divorce is final to date, it could be a long time. My husband and & I have been together for 8 years married for 2. In July I filed for divorce because he stopped communicating, staying out all night and leaving, not picking up the phone, hanging up on me, hiding his phone etc. Well then after I filed I found some things around the house that weren't mine such as some hair ties and a cell phone. No need to complicate your life or anyone else's at this point. A rebound relationship is what this has the potential to be and isn't fair to anyone involved.
Once you get thru this and heal from the pain it will be time to look into other relationships.