Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me.
Marine, gathered these rules together from around the Web, updated them a bit and sent them to me. Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.
Neil tells Meg that he only wants her to be with him if she wants to be with him, tears up the contract, and quickly reconciles with his previous girlfriend.
Meg's relief quickly gives way to renewed jealousy.
Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka – zipped up to her throat. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, all-seeing, merciless god of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a helo coming in over a Wadi near Baghdad.
Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. When my Gulf War Syndrome starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.
Stewie instantly falls in love with Liddane, an attractive young applicant.
When Peter goes to the pharmacy to buy condoms and some Excedrin, he realizes he has forgotten his wallet.
Mort Goldman, the pharmacist, offers to open a tab for him.
Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you.
Let me elaborate: When it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.