“Your mom and I just want to make sure you know what you stand for as you get old enough to date. We’re trying to train them to protect their emotions and not to send romantic signals to boys.
And when a young man sends romantic signals to one of our daughters, we’ve talked with him and tried to keep the relationship on a friendship level.
He had prayed for an opportunity to talk to her alone—without her three brothers around. “Oh, okay,” Julie replied, in cryptic teenage fashion. “Have you thought through how far you are going to go, physically, with the opposite sex? They wanted to encourage her to make the right ones. He knew his wife always got the mail, but Julie was acting like a basketball team ahead by one point in the fourth quarter, hoping the clock would run out. Our teens do not go out on a date every Friday and Saturday night.
She looked nonchalantly out her window as their car crossed a small bridge. “I would like to ask you a very personal question and give you the freedom not to answer if you don’t want to.” He paused, waiting for her reply. Our junior high and high school age teens don’t date anyone exclusively.
However, even with these guidelines, three out of four of our teens had their first real date to the school prom in their junior year at age 17.
And those first dates were all with friends, not with someone with whom they were romantically involved.
They believe that if the child says he is a Christian, then he is.
They need to be very choosy about whom they spend time with in light of that definition.
Help them write down the qualities they want to look for in the person they marry. That list then becomes the criteria by which all potential dates are measured.
It takes far more maturity than most 12- to 16-year-olds have to see that words and actions need to match.
Train your teen to look for outward qualities that indicate inner character, like a good reputation at school, a self-controlled mouth, and wise driving habits, to name just a few.