As a bisexual woman myself, I can’t deny that something about this stereotype that rings true; bi women do seem to romantically engage, or “end up” with men far more often than with woman.
But is this really because we prefer a life of white-picket simplicity and comfort?
I suspect that at least a few gay women actually have made attempts at “making a move” and romance with my friend, but not in the manner she’d been conditioned to understand.
Conversely, many of my lesbian friends have complained of bi women disappearing after a few dates, or “ghosting”, as it’s called these days.
In this situation our interactions feel less scripted and more ad-libbed, and I feel so much more like an equally invested — and involved! If dating gay women has worked for me, why hasn’t it for the friend I quoted above, or possibly for other bisexual women as well?
Consider that I was not socialized as a woman from birth; I never learned to expect the heteronormative tropes of romance and showing attraction.
This principle can be explicitly observed in how most heterosexual men view a woman’s bisexuality as exciting and acceptable, because in his mind no sex involving two woman can truly be a threat to him, as his penis would be the only one around.Or could it be that, when it comes to romance between queer women, the game has been rigged from the start?Like many stereotypes, the lived experiences of one group have almost certainly colored the perceptions of another, however unfairly or inaccurately.But I believe that it’s time to examine the pervasive, inner workings of heterosexual conditioning that, whether any of us in the bisexual community want to admit or not, have doomed so many bisexual/lesbian pairings to failure.While I understand that I can’t speak for anyone else’s experiences, I’ve written this article with two particular perspectives in mind:1.