Packer’s manual “To Young Men Only”- more information here).
Considering these statements I think it’s unsurprising that so many Mormons grow up both extremely sexually frustrated and entirely lacking the skills to handle their frustrations.
Despite that paradox, I think anyone raised as an active Mormon in the U. would agree that there isn’t really any gray area on whether oral or anal sex is “okay” before marriage in the church.
But younger Mormons especially might not be aware that the church has in the past stated that oral sex is never okay, not even within the bounds of marriage.
See this quote from an online lesson by BYU-Idaho religion professor Lon A.
Again, it’s not the role of LDS leaders to educate members how to have sex; but this web of policies, the effect of taboo and shame and conflicting doctrinal and cultural beliefs, and the inconsistent discipline surrounding sexual practices is having serious harmful consequences every day.
S.- but from my research and talking to many people on the subject while at BYU, from students to the BYU Women’s Resource Center to former employees of the Provo Police Department, I think it’s particularly a problem in Mormon communities.
I don’t know all the reasons and wish there was more research on the subject- but I would guess it has to do with a culture with inherent male authority, a taboo barring all discussion of sex including healthy consensual practices and communication, the stigma of people who have had sex (causing even survivors of sexual violence to see themselves as complicit in the sin next to murder), and the actual discipline of survivors of sexual violence by their bishops.
I certainly wish this was not the case, as I think personal sexual practices should be out of bounds for church leaders to ever involve themselves in beyond caring for survivors of sexual violence.
But it’s fascinating to me watching members attempt to either defend that oral sex is wrong (a bizarre conversation in and of itself) or defend that the church no longer teaches this when such an argument strikes me as utterly at odds with current understanding of doctrine vs policy.