“In Europe, you’re either friends with benefits or monogamous,” says the 34-year-old, who now uses matchmaking service Lasting Connections.“In America, you’re either friends with benefits, going out or this big area in the middle of ‘you’re just seeing each other.’ This totally screws up dating.” Nick Notas, a Boston-based dating expert and blogger at Nick Notas.com, sympathizes with these busy bachelors.Ever since Michael Garofola, 36, moved to New York in October, his calendar has been packed with different women penciled in for dinner or drinks.As a former “Bachelorette” contestant, Garofola knows he has no problem scoring with women — he goes on up to five first dates a week, which he says usually include a drink or two and nothing beyond a goodnight smooch on the cheek.“Meanwhile, all my single guy friends love their freedom and tell me to keep dating, too.” Like Garofola, he finds the city’s surplus of datable women to be a con — not a pro — when it comes to finding a potential mate.“There’s temptation everywhere,” says Borich, who finds most of his dates through Bumble, Happn and Plenty Of Fish.
A multipart study from Harvard University, University of La Verne and Santa Clara University researchers found that beautiful people are more likely to be involved in unstable relationships.
“Everywhere you go, you’ll be with one girl, but then you see another beautiful girl, and suddenly your mind can go elsewhere …
We all want the next best thing.” Tech inventor Ben Way, who moved to the Upper East Side from the UK, has also felt the pressure to stay single, since most of his friends aren’t in relationships — and blames this partly on American culture.
[The women] always ask me what I do for a living, if I wanna get married and leave the city, and it’s so exhausting.” But while some dudes lament their confirmed player status, Notas says there’s actually value in being a womanizer.
“A lot of marital troubles and divorce stem from people settling in relationships that aren’t compatible for them,” says Notas.