When Maya changed her preferences from only women to men and women on Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel, suddenly her potential matches were Indian guys, even though she'd listed no preference.
I'm sure the dating world online isn't any different," she says, citing how when she made a Bumble app for a similarly pretty white friend, her friend was "inundated" with way more matches than Sarah had gotten on the app.For now, Maya's filtered her preferences on the dating apps she still uses to only see people of color, hoping to avoid some of the disconnect she's previously experienced.And when she still encounters ignorance, she has a genius game plan: "I usually wax eloquent about [things like] my work, racial justice organizing, and Black Lives Matter...until they feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable, and then I never speak to them ever again." Lots of praise hands emojis for you, Maya.I felt objectified and grossed out." Jenny, who's tried Ok Cupid in addition to Tinder, has also experienced someone immediately trying to guess her ethnicity, which seems to be a pretty common experience for some women of color online. I just went to a Korean BBQ place.' I'm not Korean, and it's offensive to try to guess my ethnicity off the bat," she explains.As you'll see, the "I'm going to assume or wonder if you're this ethnicity, then say something asinine about it" technique is clearly alive and well."Men have said dumb sh*t to me about Kama Sutra," Maya B., 25, a queer woman of desi descent who identifies as a first-generation American and second-generation Indian, tells SELF.