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“When we would hang out he was funny and charismatic and a great conversationalist.But anytime I made a joke over text he would respond seriously, killing the witty banter vibe and ending the conversation.” Lara Levin, a 27-year-old living in San Francisco, says she met a man on the dating app Hinge and saw him for over two months before deciding their texting habits were incompatible.

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Waiting for me were five lengthy text messages from a guy I had been seeing for two months. ” I scrolled up to show her my seven unanswered text messages before, his three blocks of text before that and so on.“We went on a couple of great dates, but he wouldn’t respond to texts for over 24 or 26 hours, and when he did, he was just a horrible communicator,” she explains.She said that any potential partner must be able to maintain witty banter as well as respond in a timely manner “so as not to induce panic on the recipient’s end.” The texting delay led Levin to end things with the man.Though not everyone agrees on what those guidelines are, people feel strongly that their view is the right one. Though these rules apply to both genders, outdated mores still tend to guide them.“In texting, the concept of rules is strong, much stronger, I think, than the rules we do or don’t adhere to in actual in-person encounters,” lifestyle writer and friend, Raisa Bruner, says. If it takes him 20 minutes to respond, you wait 40. Loquacious women are pressured to limit their responses.

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