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Here's my opening line: Hi, I'm Leslie Knope and I'm in the business of being city counselor. My parents' method of problem-solving is to kind of keep everything bottled up and just subtly hint at what's bothering them. Leslie: [giving a speech] Pawnee has suffered through a tough economy and what has kept our town alive is you, the small business man. Me, Drake, and the T-Mobile girl were playing baccarat on a private jet.

I've been standing in the water, with the fish, on my hook for 30 minutes. So I'm throwing a little meet n greet with business owners and I've asked Tom's company to help. Here's April and Andy's: A hammer, half of a pretzel, baseball card, some cartridge that says sonic and hedgehog, a scissor half, and a flashlight filled with jellybeans. Tom: Last night at approximately am, I woke up from a dream that felt so real it had to be a premonition.

Leslie: [being interviewed] When you work in government, people often suspect that your anti-business. If you let us have the vans, they drive around town all day. Everyone will see your logo...which is you all pressed up on some chick with huge cans.

But, feels pretty good to have a bunch of little boys be super into me..came out wrong. Leslie: [giving her stump speech] What do we want for our city? Donna: If you let Newport have the vans they'll just sit there in a lot.

I want to expel the violent gangs of geese in Detweiler Square. Derry: Welcome to "Thoughts For Your Thoughts." I'm Derry Murbles, filling in for David Parker who took off for 8 months to study the migration patterns of our nation's squirrels. So we had people contribute, we added pictures, and we removed a lot of my poems and emotional ramblings and pictures of unicorns and here it is! [pause] I assume with the same alternate storyline, but if JJ Abrams and company expect us to believe that it's Spock with the romantic tension with Uhura and not Kirk, well let's just say the message boards are going nuts. Your club made it a competition when they kept girls out. Which is a...that's, uh, in California, which is southwest of here by a number of miles, so, uh, we terminated our involvement at that time. "The First Historical Guide to Pawnee." I wrote it as a reference for myself, but then my campaign advisors said we should make it a big wide release. My fragile constitution cannot handle the fearsome outdoors! We had [clears throat] romantic...romantical involvement until I relocated to San Diego. We're going for a different relationship, which is a pair of mismatched people who are very gingerly having a couple drinks here and there to see if they're compatible."Casual. Schur believes that this twist, though surprising, is grounded in reality."You have this small, loser town filled with loser people and Tom's at least kind of cool.

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