It sucks that you feel that the only reason I am interested in spirituality is because I am dysfunctional and crazy, while you, in your imaginary perfection have no weakness and have no need to seek anything outside of yourself. I am not "wasting your money" when I take a retreat or hire a life coach. And I can see you watching me and wanting to take the hurt away and knowing you can't and you make me tea... I wish you'd look that up on Wikipedia instead of using it to disprove everything I believe. It's especially the worst when you discredit my need to take workshops or classes that broaden my mind and help me create a sense of empowerment and well-being. He laid me on a child’s day bed that had a talking Rug Rat doll on it. The doll responded by asking if I wanted to sing a song? I feel ill and I can hear them telling me to stop being so dramatic. And why is it that you never clean up unless I ask you to? He picked me up for ‘lunch’ and I asked him to kindly put the Bible that he had in the front of the car in the trunk. I was too embarrassed to ask him to just take me back to work. " You said "I don't know why you haven't made it already." So I went and made the appointment. Your negativity is killing me and preventing me from moving forward in my life and in my career. Just now I asked you "When is the dog's appointment? Besides, there is ever increasing reasearch to show that there is a scientific basis for the law of attraction, reiki, energy healing, and the abundance mindset. Me, the woman who can clear a box of kleenex at a screening of a sappy movie, fights every single tear that tries to fall and when I do? Or are you too dead to feel anything besides your penis? You told me today my words were poison and I know you are right, I am drowning in it. I want to let go and to sob and to wail and grieve but for once I find it hard to let go.
I don't care that we're broke, I don't care that we're homebodies. Well, I wished I spread it all over your bed, under the sheet so you could have laid on it and have a bloody back, you asshole. One day, I will leave, just waiting for my bonus :) I won't give you a hint, you'll just see me and the boys gone. I told you to kiss me more, you can’t because it arouses you. I did it because you said "I don't know why you haven't made it already." I might go to a motel tonight. For four years I've been pretty much in hell every day.
At some point he reached for the condom and I could barely feel him. What you need to realize is that no one is perfect. Stop looking at what your spouse could do different and begin to change yourself.
So many people think the grass is greener on the other side.
It's scary how afraid you are of me learning how to empower myself. Whatever happened to living from the heart -- from personal experience? I start to cry and the voices come and I choke it back.
I'm sorry you were raised a half-assed Catholic and I'm sorry that you are so brainwashed that you think that anything other than scientific "fact" is "of the devil." I had no idea what a fundamentalist I was with when we first started dating. We aren’t in our 20’s anymore, he should have been less eager. I cannot let go and let vent to my grief, I keep hearing their voices and judgement of how I grieved my father.